it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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