I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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