My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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