i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
