sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize