Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
