maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
