Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize