wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
