arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
