We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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