when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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