you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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