you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
