I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
