Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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