She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
