Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
