Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
