omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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