Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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