she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
