God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
