I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
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He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
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I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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