so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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