This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
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I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
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I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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