so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize