I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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