Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
