did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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