Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
