i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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