; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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