I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
is it fun? or sober?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
