sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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