I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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