quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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