I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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