My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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