His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
