shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I want her autograph on my taint
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
