she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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