I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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