So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
