I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize