If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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