Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
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I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
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But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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