Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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