I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
