so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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