He told me they were just razor bumps!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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