So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
