if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
