she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
ttyl tear gas
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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