Are we in a gay sports bar?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
