u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
