she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
