im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
