and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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