Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
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would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
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Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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