also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I wish i was in the wii world.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize