yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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